Ojani Noa was Jennifer Lopez’s first husband. Their relationship was brief—they married in 1997, but the union lasted only a year before they divorced. Following that, Lopez went on to marry three more times: first to Chris Judd from 2001 to 2003, then to Marc Anthony from 2004 to 2014, and most recently to Ben Affleck from 2022 to 2024. Each of these relationships has been highly publicized, but Lopez recently revealed that despite all the material gifts and grand gestures, she never felt truly loved in any of her marriages.
In a recent interview, Lopez reflected on her romantic history and offered a candid perspective on why she felt unfulfilled in these unions. “I realized it’s not that I can’t be loved, but that men just aren’t capable of it… It’s not in them! They gave me what they had, right? They gave me everything they could—rings, gifts, homes, marriage, all the things anyone could wish for. But what they couldn’t give was the most important thing: genuine appreciation for that little part of themselves that truly connects with someone else,” she explained.
After Lopez’s statements went public, her first husband, Ojani Noa, responded, expressing frustration and disappointment with her characterization of their past. Noa insisted that their marriage ended because of Lopez’s own choices, particularly her infidelity, and that she is responsible for many of the difficulties in her love life.
“Stop humiliating me by calling yourself the victim,” Noa said in response. “The problem isn’t me—it’s you, because you couldn’t control yourself. I was kind and loyal to you. I was too good for you. You chose to lie and cheat on me, and even though I stayed, you begged me to keep the marriage quiet to avoid negative media attention. But you were more interested in taking the fast track to fame and career success than maintaining our relationship. You wanted to continue lying and cheating. At least once, tell me the truth. You should be ashamed of your actions.”
Noa went on to emphasize that Lopez had been loved by several people, but she often rejected those who truly cared for her. “You were loved multiple times. You’ve been married four times, and between those marriages, you had countless other relationships. You had good relationships too… including with me, because I was deeply in love with you. I even moved out of state to support, protect, and care for you. I am an amazing, loving person, a devoted humanist. Honest, loyal, and true—I never lied to you, never acted poorly, and never cheated.”
The timeline of Lopez’s relationship with Ben Affleck was also highlighted. The two first met in 2001 while working together on a film. They were engaged in 2004, but the relationship ended shortly before they were set to marry. Years later, in 2021, the duo secretly reconnected, and in 2022, they tied the knot. However, in 2024, the couple announced their separation, with Lopez later describing the breakup as one of the best decisions she had ever made for her life and well-being.
Through this sequence of marriages and relationships, Lopez’s personal reflections suggest a complex mix of love, betrayal, ambition, and self-discovery. While she received extravagant gifts and lived in luxury, the emotional fulfillment she sought remained elusive. Meanwhile, Ojani Noa’s pointed remarks reflect a starkly different perspective, emphasizing accountability, loyalty, and his own perception of devotion in their brief marriage.
This ongoing public dialogue between Lopez and her first husband highlights the challenges of love in the public eye, where personal emotions are intertwined with fame, ambition, and scrutiny. It also sheds light on how differing perspectives can shape the narrative of a relationship, showing that even in short-lived unions, the echoes of past choices can last for decades.
