Two women of non-aristocratic origin married British princes. It would seem that they have a lot in common! When Meghan Markle “entered the family,” many believed that she would be able to establish contact with Prince William’s wife. But very soon it became known about the contradictions that did not allow the two women to become friends. Let’s figure it out: why are Kate and Meghan not friends?
“She always wanted to be a star,” said Meghan Markle’s school friend Nikki Preedy. The girls studied together at the Immaculate Heart School, where the Hollywood elite sent their children. At that time, Meghan’s parents were divorced, but Thomas Markle still spent a lot of time with his beloved daughter (other family members have said more than once that Meghan was his beloved).
After classes, Megan often went to the set of an American comedy series, because her father worked as a lighting director. Incidentally, it was he who taught her how to behave correctly in front of the cameras. From a young age, Megan received invaluable lessons – how to look, how to tilt her head, how to achieve the maximum effect under the spotlights…
“Meghan is a product of Hollywood,” writes Lady Colin Campbell in her book Meghan and Harry: The True Story, “where values differ from those of the palace. Fiction and self-promotion are not frowned upon, nor is exaggeration.”
For this reason, Megan has repeatedly shared a detail from her teenage biography about herself – how she forced a detergent brand to replace the word “women” with the more ethical word “people.” Because the advertising slogan implied that only women washed dishes. The indignant 11-year-old sent a letter to the company, and the slogan was changed…
And when they decided to check this version, they found a lot of inconsistencies. Firstly, the letter was written when I was 14, secondly, no large company changes its advertising strategy just because of one message. And in one day!
Advertising campaigns are planned in advance, the budget for them is allocated for specific purposes. It is very naive to think that a message from a girl from Los Angeles “scared” a large global brand.
But this is all part of the “star’s” nature. Classmates perceived Megan as a person who is extremely self-confident, purposeful and rarely deviates from the intended path. At school, she knew how to please teachers, at university she quickly found admirers and entered a women’s community, which not everyone could get into, but many dreamed of… In other words, even in these nuances, she was the complete opposite of Kate Middleton.
Kate also studied at a good private school, but was forced to change one educational institution for another because of the specific attitude of girls towards themselves. Others, more self-confident, made fun of their classmate because of her chubby cheeks.
A typical story of a teenager who is being bullied. It is obvious that little Kate Middleton was a quiet home girl, which is very different from many.
Megan is the personification of everything Kate was not. And Megan is clearly more like those same classmates who laughed at her. We subconsciously immediately divide strangers into “ours” or “not ours.” And here the answer was obvious. Acceptance did not happen at the level of instinct. And subsequent events only deepened the gap between them.
That very distinctive feature of Meghan – to embellish, to add from herself – is perceived completely differently in Britain. The facts of the biography of Prince Harry’s bride have been checked more than once. And they have caused disappointment.
Megan claimed that she once shared a room with a girl who made fun of her because of her mother. However, journalists were unable to find such a girl. Moreover, the question of identity hardly interested any of the students. Other interests, other factors came to the fore. And when journalists established this point, it also affected Megan’s reputation. It is no coincidence that tabloids like to call her “Duchess Pinocchio.”
Kate simply couldn’t be on the same page with Meghan because she doesn’t need star status at all. She wasn’t a star at her Scottish university, and even when her relationship with Prince William began, she didn’t try to give interviews to the press. Her restraint is precisely what allowed her to become one of the Windsors.
“Claim what you are entitled to” is one of the principles of classical English society. Lady Colin Campbell draws parallels between Meghan and Kate and concludes that, all other things being equal (origin, education), these young women are completely different in their aspirations.
In Britain there is a strict hierarchical system. A prince cannot do the same as a king. A duke will bow his head to a prince. An earl will bow to a duke, and a baron will bow to him… A person without a title will be on a different level.
Of course, marriages between members of society have long been made without regard for origin, but the system of subordination still exists. Meghan, having married Prince Harry, would always be behind Kate. For an ambitious actress, this is clearly not the position she is used to counting on.
Another nuance of Meghan Markle’s behavior is communication with friends and close circle. She crossed out her father (with whom she was very close in childhood and youth), sister and many friends from her life as soon as she decided that she did not need them in the future. Nikki Preedy claims that this has always been the case:
“Once she decides you’re not part of her life, she can become very cold. She has this shut-down mechanism.”
This method will not work where they play by long-established rules. You can dislike each other, but outwardly demonstrate quite friendly communication. Moreover, if a person’s status is high, it is impossible to simply cross him out, for example, from the list of invitees. In fact, from birth, everyone understands what kind of cog in the mechanism he is.
Kate, not being an aristocrat, was also part of this society. And she accepted her position. When she was invited to a reception with the Queen, where usually only members of the family came, she refused to pay this (undoubtedly flattering for her!) visit. The move turned out to be wise. For the palace, this meant that Kate was not eager to get into the BCS. And accepted the rules of the game. Plus a few points to her reputation…
“Meghan gets what she wants,” Prince Harry said of his wife.
“But Kate got what she wanted too,” they will object. After all, she waited ten years before becoming Prince William’s wife.”
This is precisely the big difference. Prince William and Kate Middleton had plenty of time to test their feelings. They broke up, got back together. A decade is a considerable period to reconcile with each other or break up forever. Megan’s relationship with Harry developed rapidly. And although the family asked the “spare” to slow down, he refused to do so. So everyone was unprepared for Megan’s arrival – both BKS and herself.
It is not enough to read about the royal family to understand how it works. In this sense, Kate had a head start. Let’s add to this her character traits: calm, balanced, ability to fade into the background. Meghan did not have this head start. But there was a demand to shine, to come forward and emphasize her “I”.
This also could not unite the two women. They are not friends not only because one grew up in a middle-class English family, and the other was raised by a divorced mother. Kate and Megan could not be friends from the start. They have extremely different characters, different ideas about themselves in the world around them. And about what is allowed and what is not.
They could have become friends on a basic, everyday level, if Megxit hadn’t happened. They could have had enough tact to go out together on important occasions, to attend family events. It must be admitted that Megan would have had to make much more effort. But it was difficult, almost impossible, for her to restrain her nature. She is a fully formed personality, and it is impossible to change one.
So, Kate and Megan are not friends. And they are unlikely to ever be friends. They were unable to become friends during the period when they both lived in London, and now they are separated by an ocean and another ocean – of mutual misunderstanding and resentment.
“The reality,” writes Lady Colin Campbell, “is that Meghan’s needs and ambitions are simply incompatible with being a member of the royal family.”
