He ignored her… until she made a bold move. 🌹 Dive into the love struggles of Marilyn Monroe, as seen through the eyes of a psychologist. Was it heartbreak or simply fate? 💔
Millions of men desired this beauty. And she herself became a symbol of love failures and female loneliness. Why was she so tragically unlucky in love?
Alfred Hitchcock once said of her: “The poor thing had sex written all over her face!” Poor thing – because that’s all she had written on her face.
As a child, Marilyn was called Norma Baker. No one loved her, she did not know her father, her mother and grandmother suffered from paranoid schizophrenia.
When Norma was ten, her mother, Gladys, was committed to a mental hospital, from which she never left. Marilyn, already a star, transferred Gladys to an expensive private clinic, where she outlived her daughter by many years.
The girl wandered among relatives and foster parents, who sometimes took her in, sometimes gave her back to the shelter, experienced sexual harassment and early on understood that sexuality is power.
Marilyn married for the first time at the age of 16 – to 22-year-old James Dougherty, a merchant seaman, in order to finally live independently. They hardly spoke and divorced four years later – she dreamed of cinema, James – of a family and children. James turned out to be the only peer among all the men Marilyn had, all the others were much older.
At the dawn of her film career, Marilyn was noticed by millionaire Howard Hughes, a lover of beautiful women and creator of stars. After a short affair with him, Marilyn got a couple of great roles in films.
At the age of 25, she married famous baseball player Joe DiMaggio.
He really loved – no, not Marilyn, not the star, but a young woman named Norma, with an unhappy childhood, vulnerable, naive and kind-hearted. But Marilyn was eager to forget her former self as quickly as possible.
On the one hand, she desperately needed the care that Joe showered on her, on the other, she wanted to become strong, enlightened, and independent. She left DiMaggio after nine months, despite his love. But they remained friends. He never married again and was always there for Marilyn in her most difficult moments.
In between her marriages he made repeated proposals, which she made fun of. Marilyn dreamed of a lover of high rank and flight; she was not satisfied with a rich, but not intellectual baseball player.
She fell in love with the famous playwright Arthur Miller. He completely matched her ideal: educated, witty, famous, experienced and wise.
Early in their relationship, he declared that he would be “glad to die with her.” Dying with her might have been a joy, but living with her was torture. Marilyn hoped that he would raise her to his level. He tried – on his advice, she starred in her most popular film, Some Like It Hot, and began reading Dostoevsky. Alas, soon after the wedding, Miller wrote in his diary:
“I think she’s a little child, I hate her! Her ignorance is irritating.”
Marilyn behaved with her husband not like a smart student, as he expected, but like a five-year-old girl – capricious, crying, whining when he called her to responsibility and order, falling into depression from his comments – and once tried to poison herself with sleeping pills. The frightened Miller barely saved her. It is clear that the marriage eventually fell apart.
Even before the divorce, Marilyn seduced Yves Montand, a famous French actor and singer, the husband of movie star Simone Signoret, on the set.
He paid no attention to her until she burst into his room in a mink coat on her naked body. They say that no man could refuse her sex. Montand was no exception. The most piquant thing: while working on the film, Miller and Marilyn became friends with Yves and Simone.
After filming, Montand returned to his wife and, in response to Marilyn’s public story about the love between them, he admitted the fact of betrayal, but disowned his mistress: “She came herself. Who would have refused in my place?” In the end, he saved both his wife – Simone forgave him, and his friendship with Miller – he finally realized that a divorce was inevitable, and Eve was more of a victim than a predator. As a result, Marilyn was left out of work and completely alone.
She turned her attention to Frank Sinatra. Ava Gardner had just left him, and Marilyn had separated from her husband.
They found solace in each other’s arms. But not for long – Sinatra left her with a very significant and sad remark:
“I wanted to make her happy, but I couldn’t, I don’t see the point in being together anymore.”
Marilyn’s relationship with John Kennedy lasted for about six years. He had plenty of other mistresses besides her, but he hid the affair with her so carefully, as if he was ashamed of it more than anything else in the world. Kennedy was Marilyn’s last bet. The most significant one was the President of the United States! Marilyn seriously thought that he could marry her instead of Jacqueline. And John was burdened by the affair with the beauty, who was increasingly addicted to alcohol and sedatives, and after her scandalous performance of “Happy Birthday, Mister President!” at his 45th birthday, he broke off all relations with her.
It didn’t do her any good that she was close to John’s younger brother Robert at the same time.
They say that Marilyn, in desperation, intended to accept DiMaggio’s proposal for remarriage and even gave her consent, but this did not stop her from swallowing sleeping pills and taking her own life at the age of 36.
What is the reason for failure?
There are several of them.
The first and main one is very low, failed self-esteem, the second is a deeply rooted habit of solving all problems through sex, and the third is a desire for those men who rejected her.
She couldn’t heal herself, she hated the miserable, pathetic Norma in herself, she wanted to be the brilliant Marilyn Monroe – and therefore she couldn’t accept the love of the faithful DiMaggio. He kept bringing to light the Norma she wanted to bury!
Marilyn despised and did not value the real herself and along with her – poor DiMaggio. She was always looking for a father for herself – to replace the one she had never seen and who could raise her self-esteem.
Finding a “good daddy”, “rich daddy” or “great father” and marrying him is normal, many women do this and are quite happy. Marilyn was looking for a “great father”. And such a man always has a need for his woman to reach a certain level, otherwise he is not interested in her.
If Marilyn had taken her education seriously while married to Miller, perhaps the outcome would not have been so depressing. The trouble was that she was not capable of studying long and patiently. She lacked the willpower – it seemed to her that if she gifted someone not even with sex, but with her divine body, that would be enough for him.
Alas, no one had enough of it. It is often written that Marilyn had an IQ like Einstein. Maybe she did, but what good did it do her if she didn’t use it?
And men left her – no intelligent or cheerful communication, no warmth, no selfless sex, not even the ability to be happy…
